The Light in the Darkness

If you know and love us it’s difficult to reconcile our grief and sorrow, but what’s even more difficult to reconcile is we will never be the same ‘Michael’ and ‘Jenna’ again. When you pass through the fire it is impossible not be changed, and if you allow it, as we intend to, it is a holy experience. Moses left Egypt to wander in desert, in the desert he was anointed and appointed by God to walk in a new destiny, to shed his old identity and to receive the identity he would carry for the rest of his life, the leader of God’s people. He passed through the fire, and it was impossible for him not to be changed. In our grief, God has called us out to wander with Him. He is our covering, He is our security, He is our guide. What may look like running away to some, is fully intentional to us. Each day we are intentional about learning who we are to be now, who our son is, and how God wants to use all three of us to better the world He loves. 

The entire time I was in labour with Raffael my eyes were closed. In my spirit all I saw was light, his light. I first became acquainted with his light when I found out I was going to be a Mama on July 23rd, 2023. His light came to the world that summer and I had the privilege of carrying it for nine months. The day he was born into Heaven, my eyes were closed, but I saw that light glowing in my spirit and I watched in my spirit as that light passed the earth and returned to the One Who said ‘Let there be light!”. Raffa’s light will never be extinguished because we will carry his torch while we walk this earth and one day we will leave this place where ‘moth and rust destroy’ for the place where our true treasures are found. Our greatest treasure Raffa will be there. When Raffa was born, a piece of our soul left with him, and now we are daily ‘seated in heavenly places’ with our God and son. One foot on this earth, and one foot in the place that is eternal. We have seen our promise “and welcomed it from a distance, acknowledging that we are temporary residents on this earth”. As we walk this road of grief we are also intending to build an 'Empire of Hope' in the name of Raffael, Our God heals. We have learned firsthand that God is close to the brokenhearted and those who mourn, and it is our son’s destiny on earth to extend that healing touch to others. While I was pregnant, Michael and I would sing to Raffa ‘This little light of mine, I”m gonna let it shine', we did not realize that that song would become our anthem. In our grief we still see "The LIGHT that shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it". 

- Raffa's Mama